


whispers of the heart

by bisexualkaradanvers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 18:06:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualkaradanvers/pseuds/bisexualkaradanvers
Summary: They always said the heart was the most important organ of the body and that without it you wouldn't be able to live and without using it you would just be an empty shell. How come I was still breathing even though I haven't used my heart in years.The trails and tribulations of Lena Luthors heart





	whispers of the heart

Growing up a Luthor prepared me for a lot of things mainly the cold and unrelenting sadness of being a mistake a flaw in the perfect luthor family code that was unwanted and always just on the outside. Getting older I started to understand the way things worked, what to say and do and how to act when people of importance were around. Lillian always used to say that image and grace was the most important thing and that without an image of the perfect life and perfect family how were you ever going to get people to both love and despise you. 

Being a Luthor meant one thing, don't let anyone ever see your weaknesses or emotions as all they did was create a distorted image of the person you really are. After that I stoped using my heart and slowly but surely let my emotions become mute to those around me as I figured to really become a Luthor you had to become cold hearted and strong and letting silly feelings like love and lust were useless in creating a powerful and feared image. People always say that when you stop using your heart you start slowly dying from the inside and that your body just becomes a shell that keeps you alive and breathing but is never completely full and whole like those around you. Lex always told me "be strong lena, don't let anyone ever see the real you" and those words have stuck with me the young man I saw as my brother and saviour slowly turning me into the person I always feared I would be, a unloveable monster a shell of a human being. 

I've always felt like i'm in the middle of the ocean just below the surface of the water always gasping and pulling for air and the sweet release of freedom from the shackles the Luthor name put on me since I was adopted. Being underwater was like being barley alive, I had life let in me but the desire and hope to make it to the top always escaping me and pulling me further down and away from the light waiting for me to bask in to. The more I discarded my heart and clouded my emotions the more harder it became to escape the suffering and pain my life had become and the more easier it become to just stop trying to break free and stay in the prison I had created in my head. 

I always figured that one day maybe someone would come to save me and pull me from under the water into the blazing sun and tell me everything was going to be okay and that I just had to keep holding on and I would eventually feel the warmth and love of my saviour as they rescued me from the depths of pain and gave me a reason to keep going and strive to live one day after the other.

And then I met her, the large eclipsing sun where all I could feel was warmth and love as her light shined into the darkest parts of my soul and started to slowly wake up my dying heart into a beating organism. I always figured one day my saviour would come to rescue me and wake me up from my never ending nightmare I just didn't realise my lifeboat in the middle of the ocean would be kara danvers.

I guess my heart works after all.


End file.
